What Does It Mean to Have a Purpose?
By: Patty L. Fletcher
April 28, 2023
For the past few months, I’ve been asking myself, “What is my purpose?” I’ve found that the answer is not so easy to come by. I realized the first thing I had to do was to decide what does it mean to have a purpose? That answer I discovered is also not so easy to find.
When I think of what my life used to be, compared to what it is now, I get sick to my stomach. I once was the volunteer coordinator for a great nonprofit, I worked 80 hours a week, in the office, in the field and everywhere in between. People looked to me for guidance, they sought me out for advice and when someone new came into the organization I was always needed to show them how things worked and what was needed from them.
Not only did the organization look to me for help but so did the community in which I lived. It was no shock to me, to be walking through the grocery store and have someone walk up to say, “Hi, you’re that lady who answers the phones for 2-11 I hate to bother you, but can you tell me where to go to get help with medication for my daughter?” I never minded these interruptions to my everyday life. It gave me pleasure to help others with the issues plaguing their lives.
Then, one day, I saw things changing, I began to get pushback on even the smallest of things needed to keep things going as they should be and before I knew it I was faced with the choice of either resigning before as my supervisor put it, “no one in nonprofit likes you anymore or the board finds a reason to let you go.” He was retiring and he didn’t even try to help me. After all, I was the scapegoat for everything wrong on his end. Never mind, I’d been doing a lot of the things he was to have handled that he didn’t like to do but when the shit hit the fan he was all about self preservation.
After that, it took me some time to find my footing, but after a bit of thought and a whole lot of arduous work, I began to redraw my life. I plunged into my writing, and I learned how to assist others with the marketing of their content and soon I was rolling right along again.
I was also volunteering in schools with the special needs children, with my then guide dog Campbell and before we knew it, kids were waving out the windows of cars as they passed us on the street or pointing from their tables in fast food joints saying, “Hey! There’s Patty and Campbell.”
Suddenly, the lady I worked with in the school system got a promotion, her predecessor didn’t feel the program should continue and so once again I was cut loose to find my place.
Before I could manage to do so, Campbell became ill, COVID hit, and then, Campbell died.
All this time, I continued with my writing and my assistance Marketing program while continuing to try and find my place.
Now, here I sit in a efficiency apartment which is not much more than a concrete shaped shoebox divided into two open space rooms by a wall in which a closet on each side is set and a bathroom off to one side and I ask myself, “How in all hell did I end up here?”
I have answered one question though, “What does it mean to have a purpose?”
I think that changes daily. Sure, we have a job or hobbies or whatever to fill our days but for me having a purpose means I get up each morning and choose to place my feet upon the pathway given me by the good and kind creator. Sometimes I hate where that pathway takes me. Sometimes I thrust my fists into the air and scream, “This is so damned unfair!” Sometimes I find a lovely clearing where things are great for a while and then as I keep on walking, I discover another deep dark cave which must be explored and sometimes I get lost in that cave and I must find my way out.
That’s where I am right now in my life. A deep dark cave and I have no flipping idea which way to go. I thought I had things all mapped out. I was sure this time I’d found the exit for this bloody cave but this morning I discovered that was not the case.
So, I yell, “Hey! Mother Father God! You there? How about a big signpost please? This is your stupid daughter, asking once again to be shown the way.”
The answer has not come. At least not yet, but I have one thing to hold onto and that’s the fact I know where I’m not meant to be.
I’ve no idea what tomorrow holds. Yesterday is done and cannot be reclaimed so all I have is now! I don’t really care for it all that much, but I know in the end it’s up to me to figure out what to do next.
So, “What is my purpose?” I’ve no clue, but as the day goes on, I’ll find out. Something will happen. Things always work out; they simply don’t always work out like we think they will.
For now, I decree…
There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.
There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.
I am she, and she is me.
We are one. Yet we are we.
As I will it.
As she will it.
As we will it.
So, Mote it be.
About Patty L. Fletcher
Patty L. Fletcher lives in Kingsport Tennessee where she works full time as a Writer with the goal of bridging the great chasm which separates the disAbled from the non-disAbled. She is Also a Social Media Marketing Assistant.
Follow her at: https://pattysworlds.com/ for stories, book updates and more.
Carla
April 29, 2023A very thought provoking question, Patty. Since I retired, I have been feeling adrift as well, but I do know that one of my purposes is to be a wonderful grandma to my three grandkids. Have a wonderful day.
Patty Fletcher
April 29, 2023Hi, Carla. Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. Thanks for the comment too.
I’m cheering that you have your grandchildren. That’s a great thing. My daughter has decided her children are weapons and I’m currently not allowed to see them. However, this day is a new day with which I can create a blank slate on which to draw or write a fresh lump of clay with which to create and so I’m dusting myself off again and looking to see what the kind Creator has for me to do.
So, here i go.
Thanks again and have a great day.