UPDATE: Recovery – Loss and Gain
By Patty L. Fletcher
March 14, 2022
Moon Phase – Waxing Gibbous
The spring birds speak as one while the winter flocks busy themselves with their leave taking. They know they must hear all there is to know about what lies ahead for them as they traverse the skies yet they’re eager to be on their way.
This is how I felt when I awoke this morning. Though I knew I needed to take my time I had firm goals in mind. Thus, the Tarot card which slipped from the deck at my beckoning touch came as no surprise.
The hideousness of the past week was behind me, and the new week began with a warming trend, the sun rising spectacularly in the sky. I’d determined the best way to ready myself for Blue’s homecoming would be to go through as much of my daily routine as possible. It would be slow going with me needing many breaks, but I could if I worked hard regain my stamina. I knew it would be an arduous, grueling task, but if I wanted my Big Blue Dog home it must be done.
Hear at my desk, sipping a cup of coffee, with the sounds of spring’s rushing in bursting all around me, there was a loneliness I’d not felt since my sweet Prince Edward had come to me during that dreary day two years before. He’d thawed the ice forming in my heart, given me the strength to overcome my grief and begin living again. Now, he’d gone and in his place was an open wound which would take time and love from my Big Blue Dog to heal.
In the meantime, sitting there in the examination room holding my Sweet Eddie in my arms, singing to him while he gave me head butts and kitty kisses, I felt like the biggest failure on the earth.
Though there were medicines he could take to keep him going a bit longer, he was fifteen years old, I couldn’t say with complete certainty I could provide the correct balance of care so after an overnight prayer and meditation session, some
online research and another chat with Dr. Hyatt, my decision to let him go onward before his health failed further and he did indeed suffer was made.
Andrew, the tech who had taken care of Eddie every time he’d come to the clinic slipped in beside me and together, we settled the prince for his journey into the next life.
Petting his soft fur I said, “You’re gonna take a nap now and when you wake, you’ll be able to run and play in the sun and breezes with no pain, sickness, or fear.
You’ll have all the good things you want to eat, and nothing will make your tummy sick again.
Good-bye Sweet Eddie.”
As the medication streamed into his body, he took a deep breath and giving a long content purr, let it out on the breeze of spirit and was gone from this world.
My heart was breaking with sadness from thoughts of no longer having him physically in my life, but I knew his spirit would be with me just as all those who had gone before him were so the grief was soothed.
When returning home late in the evening, though I felt more exhausted than I’d done when first awakening in the recovery room after the surgery was completed, I managed to brush out my hair, ready myself for sleep and make a small meal of canned sausages, crackers, and cheese.
Finally, when the kitchen had been put right, I slowly settled into my chair, adjusted the back and head rests, covered myself with the electric throw my daughter had given me for Christmas and allowed the wings of modern medicine to fly me away from the pain.
The next morning, I woke to discover I was sorer than I’d felt upon awakening just after the deed had been done. I was also quite weak. I believed however, all I needed to set me right was plenty of rest, good food and fluids.
I spent those next few days listening to the wind from the last of the furious winter storms of March scream around the corners of the building, rattling the window screens in a fit of temper because it couldn’t blow its freezing breath into my house, alternating between ordering and eating fast food, reading books from authors I conversed with via social media and blogs, authors I only dreamed of knowing in some way and more still who had passed from this world to the next, leaving only their pages of wonderment behind. And I healed.
Now, here I am dressed in leggings, a baggy pullover shirt, comfy
socks, and sneakers, working at my desk. I’m tired already and will soon leave the keyboard and return to my chair in the sun and an enjoyable book to nod off with whilst dosing through a midmorning nap before venturing out to the swing for some fresh air and sun this afternoon.
I can’t say with great certainty everything I hope to accomplish will happen today. I can say I’m going to do what I’m able, be grateful for the strength and leave what cannot be done for another day.
I thank you for reading this far and invite you now to take in the words and description of the Chariot card. As I say, for me drawing this card was no surprise at all for both its upright and reversed keywords fit my energies and goals for this day as well as the week to come.
The Chariot Keywords
UPRIGHT: Control, willpower, success, action, determination
REVERSED: Self-discipline, opposition, lack of direction
THE CHARIOT DESCRIPTION
The Chariot Tarot card shows a brave warrior standing inside a chariot. He wears armor decorated with crescent moons (representing what is coming into being), a tunic with a square (the strength of will) and other alchemical symbols (spiritual transformation). The laurel and star crown signals victory, success, and spiritual evolution. Although he appears to be driving the chariot, the charioteer holds no reins – just a wand like The Magician’s – symbolizing that he controls through the strength of his will and mind.
The charioteer stands tall – there’s no sitting down for this guy, as he’s all about taking action and moving forward. Above his head is a canopy of six-pointed stars, suggesting his connection to the celestial world and the Divine will. In front of the vehicle sit a black and a white sphinx, representing duality, positive and negative and, at times, opposing forces. Note how the sphinxes are pulling in opposite directions, but the charioteer uses his willpower and sheer resolve to steer the chariot forward in the direction he wants.
Behind the chariot flows a wide river, symbolic of the need to be ‘in flow’ with the rhythm of life while also charging ahead toward your goals and intentions.
Information on the Chariot cards and their meanings can be found at: https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/major-arcana/chariot/#ajax-content-wrap
About Patty L. Fletcher
Patty L. Fletcher lives in Kingsport Tennessee where she works full time as a Writer with the goal of bridging the great chasm which separates the disAbled from the non-disAbled. She is Also a Social Media Marketing Assistant.
To learn more and get in touch visit: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/PattyFletcher