Hello CAMPBELLSWORLD VISITORS!!!
Campbell, and I hope this day, finds you, happy, healthy, and feeling just incredibly awesome!
As you all know, I’ve been fighting illness, for quite a while.
Not long ago, I posted about my having come home from Skilled Care, and the challenges, I’d faced.
What I haven’t really talked of, has been what is going on now.
Truth of the matter is, I’m not doing all that hot.
I’m having some issue with infection in my sinuses, and, my heart-rate.
The heart-rate, of course, is our biggest worry, as it is, for what reason, we still do not know, too low.
I’ve been hospitalized over-night, once already this week, and today, Friday June 23, 2017, I face that possibility once again.
I’ve been trying to remain busy, and so have been working on my writing, quite a bit.
As I’ve been recovering, I have, as promised, been working on the next installment, of my upcoming book, The Raw Truth: Campbell’s Rambles Book Two.
Here is, chapter 3. We hope you like it.
As always, we ask you, leave your feedback, after you’ve read, and please? Share.
When last, we left off, Campbell, and I’d just enjoyed, a small, New Year’s Eve celebration with the family.
Here, we are, with the next part of the story.
As always, thanks for reading. Make sure to leave your feedback, and please, share.
World of Memories
Patty L. Fletcher
Legal Notes THE SEEING EYE® and SEEING EYE® are registered trademarks of The
Seeing Eye, : www.SeeingEye.org
Scientist, say that the brain cannot differentiate between something that is happening in real-time and memory. They believe that the reaction is the same. If it is happening it is happening. Whether it is in real time or you’re having a memory. I don’t know all I know about that but I am beginning to lean toward believing they might be right, and the following, is why.
As I finally drifted to sleep in my recliner around 3-AM that New Year’s Day morning I was suddenly thrust back in time to a world I was trying very hard to leave behind.
It was 2011 again, early October and Drew had just left the house from having dinner with Donnie and me. Donnie and I were arguing horribly about his visit. As soon as Drew had gotten in his car and driven away and I’d come back inside Donnie had started on me, and because I couldn’t just let it go the argument was going strong.
Donnie suddenly grabbed me. “What are you gonna do? Fuck him?!!!”
I shrank back.
“See? I knew it! You fucking little whore!”
He reached out and took hold of me by the shoulders and began to shake me hard. My left shoulder ached. Only moments before he’d held me down. My arm pinned behind me.
“I’ll break it! I’ll make it so you’ll never work a guide dog again!”
“What do you want? Tell me I’ll give it to you.” I begged.
Continuing to hold my arm behind me, he growled, into my face.
“I want you to go upstairs and call that bastard and tell him not to come back. You tell him you’re done, you don’t need him anymore. Tell him you’ve an emergency at work. I don’t give a fuck but he’d better not come back here. I’m tired of it. You’re so called friend Mike is always teasing me about how you’re a bad girl, I’ll whip your ass till you’re bloody if you don’t get rid of him!”
I tried to pull free, but he held me tight. His fingers, digging into my skin.
“Say it. You’ll go upstairs and call him. Say Yes sir!”
Please Donnie stop? Please? Honestly, you’re going to break the arm.”
Just when I thought it would never end, I woke. I sat up and looked to see what time it was. 5:30 “Go figure.” I thought, “Park time at the Seeing Eye.”
I sat for a moment letting the memory of the dream fade. “Goddess! I thought I’d gotten rid of that for a while.”
I sobbed, hoarsely in to the dark.
Campbell stirred, and then with a joyful snort and slight yip he leapt from the couch and ran wagging to me. He was half asleep and was making that sweet snuffing noise I love so much. He sounded like such a pup when he did it my heart warmed, and the terrifying memory, began to fade.
I reached for him and we loved together for a moment.
“Need to go out?” I asked, giving his big head, a pat.
He licked my hands and face. “Thanks, you’re so awesome! You’re helping me save on soap and water huh?” I laughed to myself and stood slowly. Stretching, I started down the hall wincing at the sharp pain in my shoulder as I did.
After I’d gone to the bathroom, and washed my face I took him out for his morning frozen sniff fest. We walked round in the yard breathing the crisp frozen air and listening to the stillness of the morning. Nothing stirred, not one breath of air, not one bird, nothing at all. The spell of winter’s night was still on and would not yet be broken.
Finally, we were all done, Campbell with his sniff fest, and me with my morning prayer and meditation. It still amazes me how awesome those first few moments together are for the two of us. I know he enjoys it just as much as do I. Sometimes even the kitties would get in on our sniff fests, but thanks to the freezing temperatures the cats were having no part of it this day.
The ground crunched under our feet as we made our way back to the house.
Once back inside we shared more love and quiet play time. Our mornings have never been rambunctious so it was no problem for us to play and love together quietly while people slept in the other part of the house.
I felt more at home and secure than I had in months. I had the horrible memory completely pushed back where it belonged again.
Campbell and I were safe, the cats were here, and we had just had one of our very best Christmas’s together yet.
I fed all the animals, and as I went through the morning’s routine of reading previously downloaded email and drinking left over New Year’s Eve coffee I began to think about the day before and the confusion that had befallen Campbell and me.
I decided that later this day I would take him and we’d redo the walk from the house to the bus stop on the corner. I was sure we could fix whatever mistake we’d made.
Most of the time after a little rest and what I call “Stop! Think, Then Act Time!” we could figure it out. Campbell and I worked very well together and I was surer each and every day that there simply was not much at all he and I could not get done should we wish to. He was always at the ready. Never did he complain when I woke him with my cheerful,
“Come on sleepy head, get that big black tail up out of bed. Come on and take a walk with me, and let us see what we can see.”
Someone asked me why I used those particular words once, and I answered simply, “Isn’t it obvious?” I am not sure they ever got it.
As we enjoyed a nice quiet New Year’s Day at home with our family a warm house, and happiness within our hearts I realized Campbell and I had crossed another hurdle together. It seemed to me each time we had a grueling day like the day before, it brought us closer together yet again.
I am still so very amazed at the fact that our bond can continue to increase. It seems just when it could not possibly change and grow it does.
This experience had taught us both to take the bull by the horns, and had increased our initiative together as a team. It had helped us to know when to take the lead and when to drop back and let the other come forward and take control.
This would in time come to be an experience that would serve us well in all parts of our life together.
As the day wore on and I worked on chores around the house and visited from time to time with Aaron Michelle and the kids Campbell was always close at hand.
Each time I got up to do anything he would leap off the couch or loveseat and run long side me sometimes at my left, and sometimes at my right. Wagging and wigging, along. I’d start scratching his back as we jogged along throughout the house, and then without fail we’d have our song.
“Do, the Wigga Woo! Do the Wigga Woo! When this day is through there will still be me and you. Happy together we will be. For, we are one, yet we, are we.”
He would run and run! Wigging and Wagging all the way.
I held on to him running right along with him. Sometimes we’d come to an obstacle like a stack of boxes, or some type of gate or toy. We’d figure it out and either go round or turn and go another way. It had turned in to quite a game for us and I was glad. The house was spread out well enough that we had plenty of room to enjoy it. It would help keep the love handles off this winter when the ground was too slick to get out.
As I thought of the winter ahead, I remembered days gone by. Some of the winter memories I had weren’t as wonderful as were others.
As I remembered the first wintry weather with snow and ice I experienced with Campbell an icy chill ran through me, and the happiness, I’d been feeling, was, frozen out.
I’d waken early one morning in either late December or early January that first winter home with him and it had snowed and sleeted during the night. The steps were icy and Donnie had as usual put off putting down the de-icer and so I was going to have to try to navigate them to take Campbell out.
I’d put on my jacket and boots. Put Campbell’s leash and harness on, and started carefully out.
I didn’t normally park him, in harness, but with the icy conditions of the morning, I’d decided, it might be a really great, idea.
I’d worked Campbell, slowly across the covered portion of the deck, and to the edge of the steps.
Then with one booted toe I tested them. They were, as I’d suspected very slick. Slowly, Campbell and I’d made our, way down the twelve steep wooden steps to the ground.
When we’d gotten to the bottom, I’d stopped, and taken a moment to catch my breath.
I’d barely been able to believe I was even doing such, as going down ice coated steps, what with my fear of stairs, but there I was, at the bottom of those dangerously slick steps.
Finally, on the ground Campbell and I had been, relieved to see that the yard itself was very much something we could navigate. So, we’d taken our time, walking round, and enjoying the frosty morning air.
Just as we were coming back around the house, Donnie stepped out.
“Do you think you, might, could make, just a bit, more noise?”
“Sorry, sweetie, just taking him park time. We didn’t mean to wake you. By the way? could you clear the stairs and put out some de-ice?”
I’d reached my arms out to him asking for a hug, but he’d only sighed heavily, and turned deliberately away.
“If I have to? I think you only want me round to take care of your lazy ass.”
I’d remembered how much that jab had hurt. Sometimes, I worked as much as fifty or sixty hours a week. Donnie, had never worked, and had never contributed, even half toward our living expenses.
He’d always said, he needed the extra money from his disability check, for his son. In the end, I’d realized, he’d been spending much of that “Extra Money” on his various illegal habits, and I’d never been able to prove him seriously guilty, once I’d found out.
I knew, I’d helped a criminal, and it ate at me daily.
As I worked on project after project New Year’s Day the memories came at me one by one. I knew that would be the way of it.
It was for me always the way when trying to rid myself of something. I first had to kind of relive it a bit and completely find a way to resolve it in my heart. I knew this go round there were issues on all sides that would not get resolved for me.
The abuse done to me by Donnie, had truly taken a toll this time.
I knew the horrible miscommunication between Drew and me and the destruction of mine and my daughter’s relationship may never be resolved.
I knew, I had to work very hard to find a way, to live with all of the darkness within my life, but was still struggling mightily with it all.
Finally, as I finished my chores for the afternoon, I decided to simply put the memories to bed a while, and enjoy the remainder of my holiday.
During the evening, we all got together and had a New Year’s Day meal.
Afterward, we’d sat round and visited, just talking and laughing together.
Since, I didn’t have cable, we’d listened to NPR Radio and talked about the show they were playing. When it went off I changed it to music, and began the process, of cleaning up for the evening.
All too soon, our wonderful time, had ended, and we began to get ready for the, coming, work-day, ahead.
It had been a wonderful holiday season, and this year, I’d even had some of the celebrations right in my very home. With people, who, actually wanted to be there.
As I readied myself to end the day I felt grateful for all I had to begin the new year with. I had friends, and family. I had a home that was secure, and I had my health although sometimes, mentally unstable, and of course last but for sure not at all least there was Campbell and I was ever grateful for him. He was the brightest star in my galaxy. He had been from day one and would be that way for me forever.
When, Campbell and I went out in to the frosty night for his last park time, I felt a deep satisfaction within my very soul.
As we walked in to the dark together I no longer felt as if it were pressing in on me. That old emptiness that sometimes seemed to accompany me, was nowhere to be found, and when we started back I knew that from this moment in time on things were going to be truly better than ever for us.
I would no longer just be going through the motions of living. Life was starting to have meaning for me. I had dreams, and, had begun to make goals, to make them, come true.
As we walked back in to the warmth of the house I suddenly remembered an email conversation I’d had with Mr. Keane, now retired, from The Seeing Eye. When I’d doubted my success, he’d written the following words to me.
Congratulations on your success! Yes, success. All successful people (writers are people too!) get criticized – a lot. There is an entire industry based on criticizing books, movies, plays, sports, cars, etc.… the list goes on forever.
Don’t let the criticism get to you. You put in the work, you made it happen – only you get to decide if it turned out the way you intended. No one else is qualified. Forge ahead, do what is in your heart, write your books, sing your songs, dance your dance – be you. Everyone else can worry about being themselves!”
I’d saved them and reread them many times, but until this very moment their intended meaning had not rung true for me.
As I unhooked Campbell’s leash and he went snuffing round the room looking for any leftover crumbs from our New Year’s celebrations I had to smile.
This, was, success. Having a warm home to come to at the end of the day. Having people, whether they be friend or blood relation who love you and who want to be part of, your life, success. Having people be glad to see you when you step up on the city bus, in the morning, success.
As I walked through the house, setting things to right and going through my bed time routine I decided I was going to do just what Mr. Keane had said and start to really enjoy my “Success.”
*Well, folks, that’s the end of Chapter Three. Campbell, and I thank you for reading. We hope, you’ll give us your feedback. This, book, is a work in progress, and, the better the feedback, the better the book.
It is, after all, you, the reader, for which I write.
Until next time, this is, Patty, and King Campbell Lee, Super Seeing Eye Dog A.K.A Bubba, saying…
May Harmony Find you, and blessid be.
*Reader’s Note* I’d like to give a shout out, and thank you, to Mr. John Keane, for the use of his words. They, were, and are, much appreciated.