FEBRUARY 27, 2021.
MOON PHASE FULL.
One month ago, today, due to circumstances neither of us could’ve possibly foreseen, my beautiful, loving, talented, daughter Polly and I were reunited. Some of you may have seen the exchange between me and my middle sister on Facebook, after I wrote a tribute to my mother on January 27, the anniversary of her death. It was that dark moment which propelled Polly and me forward into one another’s lives again after being estranged for nearly eight years.
Those eight long and at times excruciatingly painful years, brought about changes within our lives which have allowed the two of us to view, understand and accept one another in a way like nothing we’ve ever experienced in our lives.
During one of our first conversations with one another, Polly stated, while speaking of how we should discuss the things which ripped us apart, “Once we’ve talked about these things, we can work toward having the sort of mother daughter relationship we both want and deserve”. These words though paraphrased here, brought me literally to my knees. So, moved by her want I dropped my phone to the floor and followed it in a puddle of tears. Sobs were long, loud, and at times near hysteria as the time which had been lost to the darkness, collided with the sun filled possible future which lie ahead.
There are no words with which I can adequately describe the storm of feelings roiling around in my heart at the moment that message popped into my Messenger window.
I’d prayed for this moment. Dreamed of how it might come to be but nothing in my wildest imaginings could’ve prepared me for the multitude of emotions I felt.
Throughout the past month, we’ve been slowly working our way back into each other’s lives and I must say it’s been both terrifying and beautiful all at once.
Just before the new year in 2020, I read an article on the power of prayer, meditation, and manifestation. In that article the author spoke of how if one allowed it, God could and would bring forth the true desires of our hearts.
Unfortunately, I cannot seem to find where I read this. Honestly, I think it was nothing more than a meme on Facebook advertising a class which lead me to the article, but the words I read struck home and I began a journey on the pathway of faith, such as nothing I’d ever taken before.
The instructions were to set aside one hour each day for one year, during which the seeker would focus in an attitude of meditation and prayer on one specific change they wanted to make in their lives. This exercise was not to be taken lightly. It was not designed for someone’s manifesting a brand-new car unless this was something which was a true life-changing event which would assist them with improving their life, such as creating a way for them to go to a job or see their children had safe transportation to and from school, the doctor or other necessary places they needed to go. In other words, you’re not supposed to sit and wish for a Porsche just because you think you’d look like the cat’s meow driving one.
But I digress….
On January 1, 2020, I made the decision to take what I thought of as a faith challenge. Decided on a time each day during which I sat and spoke allowed the things I wanted to say to my daughter. Began each session with Mother Father God with a prayer asking for guidance and that which to say. Asked for the courage to be 100 percent honest and then, I sat and admitted every failing I’d had which brought us to the brink of separation. Explained to her why things had happened as they did, I told her what I’d done to bring about changes in my life and introduced her to the woman I am today. I also asked her forgiveness for being the mixed-up sick woman I’d once been, for not taking responsibility for my mental illness and I begged for another chance at being her mother and grandmother to her children.
At first, these sessions were quite difficult. It was hard to hold a conversation with someone who wasn’t physically in the room. Over time though, I was able to first envision and then feel her presence there. It became easier and soon I was enjoying the liberation my discussions with she and Mother Father God were bringing about in my spiritual life.
All to soon the year was coming to a close. 2021 loomed on the horizon and it was time for me to begin handing this whole tangled mess over to my heavenly parents. They would judge whether or not I’d pled my case adequately enough to deserve a parole from the prison of loss my hideous past behavior had wrought.
Of all I’d done that year, that was the hardest part. On January 1, 2021, I had to give total control to my higher power and other than a normal inclusion in my daily prayers, I could ponder on these things no more. Had to believe that the situation was firmly in the hand of the creator. Had to believe that the projections I’d sent forward from my heart, soul and spirit had not only reached Mother Father God’s Heart but my daughter’s as well.
When just twenty-seven days later, my precious Polly was given back to me I was left in total awe. Not because I’d not believed it could happen but because of the power with which it was done. Mother Father God gave my daughter back to me because I was willing to bare my very soul at the altar and then leave it there for decision.
As the situation unfolded, I was also shown, that someone in my current life was a toxic presence and incredibly I found myself in the very situation my own sweet daughter found herself in eight years before. I had to say, until you can become a healthier person, admit you have a problem and seek help I can no longer have you in my life. I believe this had to happen so I could utterly understand what it had been like for Polly to say to her own mother, the woman who had for good or ill given her life, who had tried the best she could with what she had to raise her from her life and the lives of her beautiful children, my grandchildren, “If you’re going to continue in this way, I can no longer allow you in my life.”
I’ve six beautiful grandchildren, three, barely remember me. The other three, know me not at all. I’m Looking forward to getting to know my daughter and her family again. I’m grateful for the chance to try.
I mustn’t leave out Nathan, my incredible son-in-law. Oh, I knew right from the first moment I met this kind, caring, young man seventeen years ago that he was the man for my Polly. They’ve had their struggles as all young couples do but by standing on the promises of God, they’ve weathered those storms and their love holds firm.
You cannot know how proud I am of the young woman my Polly has become. She manages six children, three cats, a dog, a husband and even carves out time for her daily devotion and scripture readings. And now, she’s finding time to text her mother daily, and when she’s able a phone call as well.
Now, I want to pass the feather as it were. Challenge you, give your higher power, whatever you call it the chance to work a miracle in your life. Give that higher power the ability to give to you that true peace which surpasses all understanding. For if you believe, it can be so.
I invite you to pray this simple prayer with me…
Thank you for the sun.
Thank you, now day’s begun, all my needs, wants, desires, they’re met.
Thank you for what I have and have not yet.
Thank you when this day is through, I will still be me and you will still be you.
Light my path. Guide my way. Give me that which to do and say.
So, Mote It Be.
Bless It Be.
Patty L. Fletcher
Self-Published Author and Social Media Promotional Assistant
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