Rapid cycling dictated

Rapid cycling dictated

Rapid cycling is a term which means extreme and daily mood swings at least to me. Rapid cycling 10 Mean that a person’s moods can change it several times in one day. It can be very difficult for someone to deal with. Not only is it hard for the person who is experiencing these constantly changing moods, it is also very difficult for those living with, or around such a person. Even if you are a long distance friend, if you must deal with this person either by choice or necessity, it is a very difficult thing.

At times, I deal with such. Waking up as a happy go lucky manic, only to crash violently into depression just a few hours later, can be a very dis-heartening thing. There are times, when I ride the yo yo of manic depressive several times in one day. There are times, when, by the end of the day I feel so very drained by what I have experienced emotionally that I simply wish I would not awaken the next day. I have lost so many because of this illness I live with every day. Then there are others who are in my life but who keep themselves at a firm distance. This is hurtful as well, because I know why they do it no matter what excuse they give for not visiting, or wanting me to. I know who and what IM. I know who and what I wish I were. I know who and what I will never be.

I am… loving, kind, sad, angry, even explosive. Now, you say, all of us are. Yet, where are you? Where are you? Anywhere, but here.

I know, who I wish I were… stable, successful, wanted, and welcome. You, say I am doing better, but, where are you? Where are you? Anywhere, but in my life. You pretend, but you are not.

What will I never be?.. completely excepted. Always welcome. Always loved. You say you love me. You say you care. Where are you? Where are you? Anywhere but there.

Life as a bipolar, I will live all of my days. Until spirit, wings me away.

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