Racing Thoughts, Inner Conflict, Regaining My Balance and Five of Wands #HealthWorld

Racing Thoughts, Inner Conflict, Regaining My Balance and Five of Wands #HealthWorld

This morning, the Five of Wands I drew, came as no real surprise for I woke with racing thoughts rushing round in my head. When this happens, I must immediately make a conscience effort to take control of and organize my thinking patterns or I can become quickly lost in the madness it can cause.

Luckily for me, I’ve learned good coping skills for when this hits and unless I am in a serious bout of mania along with the racing thoughts, I can quickly regain control of my mind.

The inner conflict racing thoughts can cause if left unchecked can be huge so, when this card came sliding out of the deck, after I’d thoroughly shuffled them, it caused me to take a deeper look at what I’d been thinking of when I woke.

I soon remembered a dream I’d been having just before an exuberant bird singing happily outside my window roused me in the wee hours of the morning and before long, the message of this card was clear.

This time of year is filled with bittersweet memories for me and gathering them all together in one swirling motion as I made notes for my writing had nearly taken me over the edge.

Continuing to do a complete self-examination, I also realized I’d been suffering from this inner conflict in numerous ways over the past few days. After a bit more consideration whilst standing in a lovely patch of nature as the sun rose over the neighborhood slowly waking around me, with Blue sniffing happily by my side, I decided I must draw deeply from my inner resources, put my thought processes back into their normal rhythms and begin writing the second book in my “Pathway to Freedom” trilogy in true earnest.

Making the commitment firmly in my Spirit, mind and soul felt so liberating I nearly danced with glee.

I drew deep breaths of the fresh, cool spring air into my lungs. I felt the power of Gaia flowing into me, strengthening my entire being.

The sun came over the rim of the horizon touching me with warm, golden light.

I never cease being amazed at the power Spirit holds in my life if only I allow it.

Now, I feel ready to face the days of writing ahead of me and believe I can finally tell the story without fear or recrimination.

I and others did as we did, and it cannot be undone.

Some things were positive and productive, while others were as destructive as a fierce storm.

My job is to write of it in such a way which will allow it to go forth and help another while being impeccable with my word making certain to hurt no one involved. I believe this is the task Spirit has given me to do and I shall do it to the best of my ability and I shall not allow it to destroy me in the process.

Today, I return to the doctor to receive the results of the bloodwork they took the last time I was there. I’m prayerful this time, we will get to the root of whatever is causing my fatigue.

I declare that I’m well and whole. For I know…

There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.

There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.

I am she and she is me.

We are one, yet we are we.

So Mote It Be!

Blessid Be!

Amen!

Do you suffer from mental illness? Do you, at times, find you’ve lost your way?

I’ve knowingly been battling bipolar disorder and all that entails since 1982. I can tell you, the road to stability no matter your diagnosis will be filled with pitfalls, potholes, and all sorts of other noisome beasties to foible your path.

However, if you’re willing to be completely honest with yourself and those you choose to allow to help you, you can overcome.

If ever I can somehow help you along your way, please reach out to me at: patty.volunteer1@gmail.com

Before you do, let me tell you unless you’re willing to work fifty-one percent harder than those helping, I won’t give you more than a second glance.

I’m happy to be your friend no matter what but if you genuinely want my support as one mentally ill person to another you must be willing to work to help yourself for true healing comes from within.

For now, may Harmony find You and Blessid Be.

*Reference notes on the Five of Wands…

Five Of Wands Keywords

UPRIGHT: Conflict, disagreements, competition, tension, diversity

REVERSED: Inner conflict, conflict avoidance, tension release

Five Of Wands Description

In the Five of Wands, five men appear to be fighting each other, using their wands as weapons. However, on closer observation, their wands are raised but not striking or injuring anyone. It is as if there is no real purpose or outcome in this chaotic scene other than to create conflict and sow discord amongst the group. Each man wears a different outfit, symbolizing their diverse backgrounds and belief systems, and suggesting that, because of their differences, they cannot find harmony and common ground with one another.

NOTE: The Tarot card meaning description is based on the Rider Waite cards. More information can be found at: https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-wands/five-of-wands/

About Patty L. Fletcher

Patty L. Fletcher lives in Kingsport Tennessee where she works full time as a Writer with the goal of bridging the great chasm which separates the disAbled from the non-disAbled. She is Also a Social Media Marketing Assistant.

Pathway to Freedom Broken and Healed:

Book One How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life

(Second Edition)

The cover of "Pathway to Freedom". 
A garden with rocks and pebbles, surrounded by grass and trees. To the left, a bench sits below a tree with a seated dog silhouetted on the grass in front of it. An ethereal glow of gold and green shines through the middle of the picture with the title of the book written in fantasy style lettering in darker gold and with black shadowing.

In the first book of her memoir trilogy, Pathway to Freedom Broken and Healed: Book One How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life, Patty Fletcher shares how choosing to attend The Seeing Eye guide dog school in Morristown, New Jersey, helped her to gain complete independence. But this decision would reveal glimpses into worlds she had never before known existed.

Once home from The Seeing Eye, Patty soon begins to realize that all is not right in her own world.

Watch your step as you journey down the winding path with Patty and Campbell, for there are many obstacles along the way. Through triumphs and tribulations, through tears and fears, that forever guide remains at her side. King Campbell works tirelessly to keep Patty safe from harm.

Find her books and more at: https://www.amazon.com/Patty-L.-Fletcher/e/B00Q9I7RWG

One Comment

  1. You have an incredible story to tell. I have no doubt you will tell it with boldness, authenticity, compassion and thoughtfulness. Love you my friend!

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