Good morning CAMPBELLSWORLD VISITORS!!! Hope you find yourself feeling most awesome on this Terrific Tuesday Morning! I do… Why? Because I’m alive to live my life, to do as I wish, to live as I want, and to be anything I want. Because I can look behind me and see the wreckage of my life, and now I know what I want no more of. So if you’re not having a good day fix it.
Now, before I write today’s post, I got to do something that I dislike, and that’s write a disclaimer. Why? Cause there are lots of people walking round with their hearts on their sleeves taking offense to anything and everything and if it isn’t offensive there are some who make it up. So let me just say, that this post is not directed at any one person. As I have always said, if I got a problem or something to say you’ll know of it. You won’t need to read about it in a blog post first. However, if you read something here that steps on your toes you might want to take a good long look at yourself and ask why. Because this morning that’s where I am. I read and have been reading and dealing with several kinds of things that are driving me absolutely nuts. Why? Because they remind me of how I used to be and I cannot stand it.
* Description of the old me…
I used to find ten-thousand reasons why I couldn’t do something, but my momma then taught me…”Can’t means won’t. I won’t help till I see you try.” Even after that, for a long time I sat and did nothing much more than whine.
I used to be the type that would act out, do things I should not, then when confronted I would lean on ‘Well, I’ve been through so much in my past, and my bipolar made me do it” and on and on the excuses would go.
I repeated the same things day in and day out expecting a different result every time.
I could keep going but you get the idea. I was a real mess.
* Description of the new me…
I have decided to…
Own and learn to live with and deal with my mental illness rather than let it own and deal with me.
I have decided to face my fears, and try because if I don’t I’ll never know if I can.
I have decided to be positive and productive rather than pouty negative and angry.
I no longer say things like, “Well, my EX abused me so I’m afraid of people.”
In short, I realized that I aint getting any younger, and that people are tired of my talking…talking…talking… about what I can do, and they’d like to see me do…do…do… something.
I lost allot of people along my way of darkness and destruction. I understand now more than ever how come my daughter no longer wants to be in my life. I get why Drew Gibbon said, “OK I’m done with this chick on every level.” And I totally understand why someone said to me from The Seeing Eye that my problems went beyond the scope of what they do there.
Why did those thing happen? Because I was out of control. Sick as could be, and doing nothing about it.
Because even when I realized what I needed to do I wasn’t really doing it, I was just paying lip service.
What’s the point of going to the doctor getting a therapist, taking meds, and all if you’re not going to follow through and do what is needed to get as well as you can, and live the very best life ever that you can live? There is no point…
* What am I doing now?
NOW this day, I am living. Loving, and learning. I am growing, changing and evolving. I am no longer frightened to try. Do I still get afraid? Sure…but if I don’t try I’ll never know if I can.
I say I want to get paid to be a writer, but how many stories have I submitted to other magazines? Not many. How much effort have I made? Not much. So what am I gonna do about that?
Well, for starters I have a speaking engagement tonight. I am going to do the best job I ever did at that when I go. I’m going to present myself in a way like I’ve never done before. I’m going to network, and I’m going to make great and lasting connections. In short, I’m going to work toward undoing some of the damage I’ve caused along my way.
* How can I re-earn those I’ve lost trust?
Got the courage to join me on this path?
Want to find the person you know you can really be if only you could break them free from the chains of fear that bind them? If so, then comment back, and let me know. But don’t do it for me. Don’t do it for a loved one, but by God do it for you! You are someone too!!! You are important! Your dreams matter, and no one is going to ever believe in you till you do!!!
Do you always want to need to be rescued or helped along by another? BE! WELL!!! BE PRODUCTIVE!!!
I no longer do drama. I no longer do dishonesty. I no longer do quitters, and I no longer do those who won’t make a try at it…
I’m not gonna turn my back on anyone, but I won’t deal with someone who won’t try to make themselves the best they can be.
I don’t want talkers in my life. I want movers and shakers. You don’t have to be famous. You don’t have to be rich. But you have to be willing to do your part to pull yourself out of the ditch.
Grieving? Go to see a councilor get into a support system. You’re not helping those who are gone. They’re not worrying about it any more.
Fearful due to your past? See read, and hear that word. “Past” it’s over with. You decide whether it holds you prisoner.
Yes, my EX abused me. If I stay stuck in that memory and always use it as an excuse, guess what? He continues to abuse me every day even though he is in a prison hundreds of miles from me. Why? Cause I let it stay in my mind and he wins.
So what am I gonna do? “Stop that!” That’s what! I’m gonna live, cause no one says I cannot! Only I do that every time I make an excuse or ask someone else to do what I can damn well do myself.
You got a guide dog and still you’re letting someone else go do your shopping and running of errands for you. Tell me you cannot afford the transit but you’re still buying smokes, pizzas and other junk instead? Knock that off!
I won’t listen to excuses and I won’t help till I see you try. Sometimes being a good friend sister or whatever requires you get tough, and tough is what I’m doing today.
You want me to believe in you? Give me reason.
For NOW I’m done, but this day I decree I will be all I can be. How about you?
Until next time, this is Patty and King Campbell who never gives up saying…
May harmony find you and blessid may you be.
“Take a chance, there’s a 50 percent you’ll be right, and so what if you’re not. You won’t know till you try.”
*Quote adapted and made into my own*
Patty L. Fletcher
Author motivational writer and speaker at large!