Only myself Can I Judge

Only myself Can I Judge

Yesterday I wrote and posted an offering called, I Choose Truth. In that post, I wrote that I couldn’t and wouldn’t judge those I was speaking of, and of course last night I got an email challenging that. I must admit, I found the comment sent to me to be rather arrogant. They said that we should judge, but that we ought not condemn.

I disagree strongly with that. First, we’re instructed in the bible itself not to judge. Matthew tells us not to judge, least we be judged. But I disagree for more reasons than just that, and here are just a few reasons why.

I cannot judge another’s behaviors, thoughts, words, or actions completely because I don’t know their true heart, mind, nor do I know exactly what they may be experiencing in their life. I do not have any idea because I’m not walking in their shoes. I’m not living their life, and I’m not thinking their thoughts, so I’m not at all qualified to judge them.

I only have the evidence of their existence which they allow me to see, and while I may have a notion or two about them and what I get from them I cannot make a true judgement call.

The only person I am one-hundred-percent able to judge the behaviors, thoughts, words, and actions of is me because I know myself completely and so I can judge myself accordingly and make changes as I see fit. As far as everyone else goes, I can choose to interact with them on some level, or I can choose to walk away.

We use the word judge incorrectly. We misunderstand its meaning, and we who judge others are in my mind arrogant for thinking we have the right to judge another.

Now, my task is to not judge the person who wrote me that email. My task is not to condemn them for their behavior because I don’t know what makes them the way they are. Although most times I find they appear to love always speaking in terms of the opposite of everyone around them and I find their perceptions don’t very often match mine I must realize that they come from a different time and place than do I, their experiences are different than mine and so I must simply allow them to be as they are.

As I’ve been going back through my first book, Campbell’s Rambles: How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life I’m reminded of the person’s review of my book. While they were correct that there were portions of the book which were lacking in detail, and that did a bit more implying rather than bringing everything to light, I must shake my head at part of their reasoning for this. They claimed my book didn’t touch well enough on the abuse which was going on in my life, and I must wonder at that. I ask myself what they consider abusive.

In that book I wrote of how I was spoken to by my then fiancé, about his reactions to certain things I did, and said. I wrote about the ways he treated me and how unfair they were, and I even wrote of a particularly violent moment between the two of us, and those are all topics of abuse, but because my descriptions of the abuse weren’t graphic, and I didn’t show much of what went on, this person felt it necessary to say that I didn’t write about domestic violence.

This leads me to realize that many people simply have a very incorrect view of what abuse is, and helps me realize that they’re judging abuse incorrectly, and the reason is simply because they themselves haven’t lived it and so have no experience on which to go.

This brings me back to the first portion of my writing, in that I cannot judge another because I don’t have enough information to do so, and no matter how much they may tell me by their words, actions, behaviors, what have you, because I’m not living their life I’m never going to have enough.

So, I stand by what I wrote yesterday, and though I cannot give you one good reason why I felt I needed to validate myself by writing this, I feel better for having done it.

At the end of the day, we are all very different and I am only me, and only me do I have enough knowledge of to “Judge.”



  1. Well said, Patty! Have a great day! 🙂

    1. Hi.
      You have a great day too.
      I visited and followed your blog.
      Like what I saw there.
      Such fun meeting new people and finding more blogs to enjoy.

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