I wake
to the sound of rumbling thunder—
yet I am not afraid.
I love storms,
so long as they leave
no damage in their wake.
I tossed.
I turned.
I finally gave up.
Out of bed, I rose, declaring,
“ENOUGH!”
I gave myself a scolding:
“What is wrong with you?
You’ve lain about for days.
You shouldn’t allow situations
to get the better of you this way.”
Into the shower—
hot needles of relief
prick my skin.
Slowly,
I come alive again.
I feel like myself.
The scent—
rich lather covering my skin,
washing away the darkness,
bringing joy rushing back in.
It’s time
to return to the business of living,
to enjoying life again.
Once more, I scold
as I clean the bathroom
after the shower:
“Now look, girl—
you beat the Big C.
What the hell is wrong with you?
You won.
Blue Dog will be back soon,
tail wagging to and fro.
He’ll want to romp,
to wrestle,
to work—
so get it together.
Tell those wearisome worries
it’s time to go.”
Loving people surround me,
with me through it all—
ready to celebrate victories,
ready to catch me
when I fall.
I straighten my palace,
my sanctuary—
everything I manifested.
And still I ask myself:
why?
“Why are you allowing another
to push you this way?
Look them straight in the eye.
Tell them to go on their way.
What would your mentor say?
How disappointed would he be
if he could see through the mirror—
if he could see you?”
Tears fall with abandon,
dripping to the floor—
shame, disappointment, worry,
what I’d be giving back for sure.
“It’s wrong!” my mind screams.
“Get your shit together.
Get ready to be a team.”
And finally—
I gain the upper hand.
Back on my feet,
I stand.
“This nonsense,” I think,
“I can defeat.”
Once again,
I face the fan.
“Okay, girl—
it’s time to take it all back.
It’s time to say:
I can.”
I turn—
surprised
to find
it’s 2 AM.
Patty L. Fletcher – Author and Content Promoter.
About Patty L. Fletcher
Updated November 2024
Patty L. Fletcher is a woman of passion and exploration.
She studies the art of manifestation and is a seeker of knowledge and the wisdom to know what to do with it when it’s learned.
To learn more visit: https://pattysworlds.com/about/
If you have made mistakes, even serious mistakes, you may have a fresh start from any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Mary Pickford