Sometimes, as I have written before, we can take the smallest things for granted. As many times as I write this, and as much as I know it to be true, sometimes I still have to be reminded.
Today was no exception. Early this morning round 3 AM or so, Bob Cat landed with a ‘Thunk!’ on my stomach! I shoved him over on to the bed saying, “No! Not yet!” He was persistent though, and soon he had Campbell in on the act of trying to prod me out of bed. After much protest from me, and lots of coaxing, or as I put it insisting from the both of them, I finally struggled up out of bed, and to the bathroom. As if I might somehow disappear, the two of them waited just outside the gate at the door. Soon I’d taken care of my morning necessities, splashed cold water on to my face, and was emerging somewhat more awake, but none the less grumpy. First thing was first, according to Campbell anyhow, and that was Park Time. So, I got my shoes on, which by the way were still wet from the night before, and after making sure his leash, which was beginning to not clasp so well, was hooked firmly in place, out we went. Campbell did not take long to take care of business, and as we came back inside, I heard the pitter patter of Bob Cat’s little paws on the porch, and I had to smile in spite of my early morning grump because he had followed us outside. He’d taken to doing this a lot of late, and I felt more and more like he was watching over the lot of us. He was, after all, my familiar. Once back inside, because it was so early I decided to wash up some dishes left from the night before. Soon I had them all done, and coffee making.
I decided my boys needed a bit of a treat, and so when I dished out their food I added a couple of scrambled eggs to the mix. As I mixed the food with the eggs, I could hear Bob Cat’s deep purring. He sounded much like a miniature motor cycle, and this made me smile in the otherwise quiet morning. I could also hear Campbell lying at the door of the kitchen, where I’d left him at down, and rest, licking his lips, over and over. This told me that there was most likely a string of drool a mile long coming from his mouth and forming a puddle on the carpet underneath. Again I had to smile.
“I do love you boys.” I said, and I heard Campbell’s tale thump in reply and I could’ve sworn Bob Cat made his motor run louder than before. As I finished making their breakfast, and sat it in their places, I was more than filled with a satisfaction like none other. They ate happily and contented, and I poured myself a large cup of coffee, doctored it with both cream and sugar, grabbed a pack of doughnuts for myself and headed to the living room, my desk and computer, and began to write. What you are reading is what has come of that. I love these early mornings. My mind is at peace, I am relaxed, and feel none of the pressure that a day of stimulation can sometimes bring.
You see, for me sometimes the smallest things can trigger me. Feeling left out of a situation that involves people I love, hearing couples argue, or having the desire to see a missed close friend can cause me to do lots of dumb things. Now as I sit at my desk, I thought of the memories I’d had as I’d cleaned up from cooking for my boys. I’d thought of yesterday, and how I’d once again let my lack of impulse control get the better of me, and darn near run one of my best friends off yet again.
He and I have just patched things up, and due to my insecurities, and things during the day triggering me, along with what I believe to be a somewhat off Depakote level I had begun to OCD text. He, however, saw this happening this time, and was ready for it. He gently but firmly told me he was going to sleep for a while, explained that he did not feel well, and that he would talk with me later. At first this did not stop me, and I made a mobile to mobile call and left a detailed message on his voice mail as to why I was feeling and acting as I was. He again texted me, let me know that:-
A) he was still trying to go to sleep, and
B) he’d gotten a voice mail but the call was not logged.
This told me he was on to my tricks, and so I came clean. He and I wrote back and forth a bit, and after a while we both found a place within these needs we could half way be comfortable with. I went off to do my own thing for a while, and he went to take a nap. We had a few more rough patches throughout the evening, but, because he was becoming more and more aware as to how to help me, and I was making more of an effort to do better that he could see, the evening ended well after all.
Now as I sit here at my desk, I find that I feel very fortunate. Unlike some, this friend has decided to try to go the extra mile with me, and is in fact doing a great job. Loving and caring for someone like me is not an easy task. Some aren’t up to even being my friend, let alone anything more, and although we are not at all sure where our relationship is going to go, and of course none of us are, we are sure of one thing, we like being each other’s friend, and we are glad we are.
Where are my boys now, that they have gotten me up before God on Sunday morning, talked me in to not only feeding them early but making them scrambled eggs to boot? Why, where do you think? Asleep of course. Their tummies are full, they have both been out, gotten lovins from me, and they are done. What am I doing? I am writing, because I am wide awake, and there’s not one more darn thing to do. I am happy though, and for now, and now is all we have, that is enough. Until next time this is Patty, Campbell, and Bob Cat Too, saying…
We hope your day is awesome, and that your wishes all come true. We hope your day is filled with laughter and that no strife or negativity bothers you. Have a great day! Everyone! But Remember, only you, can make it that way.