From my Book of Shadows a Look Within a Look Without: Time, Independence, Outspoken

From my Book of Shadows a Look Within a Look Without: Time, Independence, Outspoken

SEPTEMBER 28, 2021


Time, Independence, and Outspoken

So much stuff has gone on over the past few months, I don’t quite know where to start. I’ve records of a lot of it because I’ve been blogging them as they happen. I’ve put them into this journal as best I can, I only hope I’ve captured the most important.

When I began journaling in September of 2019, I’d no idea I’d ever get this far with it. Nor did I know how much my life would change over the course of time.

I’ve learned that words are extraordinarily powerful and the written word for me at least, is the most powerful of all.

I’ve been reading over the goings on in my life from the moment I wrote the first word until this day. What I’ve discovered has both thrilled and terrified me, but I must go on. I must continue to write of all I know for the records we keep now may very well help those who come after. My goal has always been and continues to be to “bridge the great chasm which separates the disAbled from the nondisabled. For a while, It seemed as though we’d begun to seriously make progress where this is concerned but after recent goings on it appears we’re slipping backward in a horrific fashion which I fear may not be stopped. To me, it’s much like trying to walk up a hill of sand. You take two steps then slide backward 20 scrabbling for purchase as you fall.

I’ve no idea if anyone more than my friends and my closest family will ever read any of what I put into these pages, but I hope others will find and read as well.

I plan to try and put this journal into some sort of order one day and turn it into a book. I’ve made a start at it but it’s slow going what with all the other things I must do throughout the day. Oh, I’m sure I’ve more time than I think to be doing this type of writing. We waste so much time in our 24 hour cycles each day. We don’t even realize how much until we begin readying for bed as the sun sets and the moon rises over the land. Then, for a brief moment we lament all we didn’t get done. We talk of how much time we wasted and even take a minute to list some of the things we could’ve passed on so as to have time to do that which we thought was so important. Yet, the next day begins with the sunrise just as the day before and so too do we begin in our same ways doing all we did yesterday and like a wheel it repeats.

As I sit typing to you, the crows are cawing to one another in an urgent way. They know time has somehow sped up and the world is moving on. They feel the seasons changing and they’re trying with all their might to impart their wisdom to those who would listen.

Well, must get busy with the day’s work. There are emails to read and answer, blog posts to put up and schedule and of course, The Writer’s Grapevine Magazine must be worked up and made ready to go over to the editors for correcting and formatting.

Then, there’s the dog to walk, the cat to snuggle and the ever-present housework to do. I love my tiny apartment because if I clean as I go, pick up after myself and make sure to mark down somewhere those things I must have help with when my part time caregiver comes it is easy to keep tidy. And that brings something to mind I’ve been meaning to try and put into words. It’s a bit difficult because I in no way want to offend anyone but it’s something I feel I must speak on.

I spoke of my liking my tiny apartment. I really do. Though I’m still quite capable and can do many things on my own with no assistance whatsoever, I do have 3 disabilities and there are days when they war with one another. Having this smaller apartment is for me a true God send. I have no need of lots of material things. Oh, sure, I’ve a few music boxes and statuettes which are dear to me that I’ll put out in time. I’ve some pictures needing hung but for the most part if I’m not using it regularly, I’ve no need for it.

I’ve met a lot of Fabulous new people of late, each one of them has brought boundless joy to my life. It is difficult for people who have had little to no exposure to persons who are blind. First, I’d like you to note how I wrote that. I didn’t state, ‘Blind Persons.’ I stated, ‘Persons who are blind.’ I did that for a reason. Primarily, I’m a person. I’m a person just like anyone else. I just happen to be blind. This means I sometimes do things a bit differently than others. So, I’d like to gently ask, don’t assume. Don’t assume you know best how something should be for me. Just before I moved, a friend came by. When she came in, I was making coffee. She stood directly behind me and said, “I wish you’d let me help you.” Had she been at a sighted friend’s house, she would not have done such a thing. She’d have come in, plopped down in a chair and started chattering about her goings on, some tidbit of gossip or whatever she’d stopped by for. I’ve had people say things like, this thing has to go. I’m going to buy you….” Insert whatever. They didn’t bother to ask if I wanted such a thing, never crossed their mind I might like it just as it was, they just assumed because I’m disAbled, I needed something different or that I might not have the money to buy it and so I must just be making do.

I’ve been on my own since I was 17 and a half years old. At that time, I went to Morris Town Tennessee and trained at Volunteer Blind Industries. For 6-months I lived and worked in their residential program. When I turned 18, I rented my first apartment and I worked and lived there until I became pregnant with my daughter. I’d have continued working and had her right there. I’d even made arrangements for a babysitter after she was born so I could go back to work. Then, I got sick, and my plans changed.

Over the years, I’ve worked in factories, as a telemarketer for a local insurance agent, become an AmeriCorps Vista, the Volunteer Coordinator for 2-11 Contact Concern, am a 3-time published author, and currently I’m building my own business. In short, though there are a few things I need help with from time to time, I’m not helpless.

If I want something new, help making coffee, or anything else, I know how to ask. So please, if you want to be my friend, just be my friend. If you’re wanting someone to take care of, the company I receive part time caregiver services from Silver Angels is in need of workers.

Like I said, I’m not trying to be offensive. I’m aware that everyone means well but I love being independent and hope to continue to be so for many years.

Why did I move into this type of Senior/disAbility residential area? Because there are a few things I do need help with and living here makes that possible. It is also more financially secure.

I am who and what I am. If you can accept me as I am I’m happy to have you along. If my independent ways and belief system bother you then I reckon you might want to go on your way.

A dear friend of mine with whom I’ve just become acquainted but feel I’ve known forever said, “I like the way you express yourself.” I do tend to be blunt. I don’t sugar coat things because I used to spend a lot of time trying to tell people just what I thought they wanted to hear or what would be acceptable to them and that didn’t serve me well. So, now I just say it like it is.

My profile on Facebook says, ‘fun loving and Kind.’ That is so. But I’m also thinking of adding, ‘Independent and Outspoken.’ LOL.

For now, I leave you but will return to the writing when time permits. I’m smiling as I type that because time is the same no matter our doings and it is we who permit.

Here’s today’s Magickal Calendar to help us be focused on that which is important for this day.

GrannyMoon Says Today Is: Tyr’s Day – Day of Mars…also Ares, Tiwaz,
Tiw (from whom it is named), Tuisco, and Tiu. Mars rules tuesday,
whose Magickal influences are Passion, courage, aggression, and
protection. Tuesday comes under the influence of Mars, the planet associated
with vitality, passion, ambition, and raw, unabashed power.
Mars energy makes the mind acute, and the body restless; therefore, on
Tuesday we are likely to exert ourselves physically and take action to
achieve goals. This day is dynamic and high-spirited, and the prevailing
energies may include carelessness and destructiveness as well, so it is good
to be cautious-especially while traveling.
Tuesday – Wear a ruby, star sapphire, or emerald. Use topaz for amulets.
Today’s Magickal Influences ~ Destination, War, Courage, Surgery, Physical
Today’s Goddesses: Aset [Isis], Soorejnaree, Pingalla, Anna, Aine, Danu,
Yngona, Bellona, Aida Wedo, Sun Woman
Perfumes: Hellebore, Carnation, Patchouli
Incense: Lignum Aloes, Plantain
Color of The Day: Red
Colors for Tomorrow: Yellow
Lucky Sign: Tuesday Is The Lucky Day For Aries
Candle: Red

The magickal calendar is brought to you by GrannyMoon who can be found at:

If you’ve read all the way to the end of my ramblings and are seeing this note, I say Thank You. May Harmony find You and Blessid shall You Be.

If you’d like to comment please remember to be polite. Don’t push or preach.

We all look at the same moon and walk on the same earth. We just all do it a bit differently.

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