Coach Kaila is back with another article certain to help us as we navigate the holiday season.
Here she is with more.

Choosing Presence Over Presents: A Mindful End to the Year
By Kaila Allen

As the year winds down, it’s easy to feel the pressure to “do it all.” Society often expects us to keep up with every tradition we’ve ever known, sometimes at the cost of our own happiness. But this year, my family and I decided to take a different approach. We chose to focus on creating memories rather than buying gifts.
Taking care of your energy during this time isn’t just about saying no to invitations. It’s about really thinking about your traditions. Are you doing something because it makes you happy, or because it’s just what you’ve always done?
The Science of Connection
Focusing on experiences instead of things isn’t just about saving money or getting rid of clutter. It’s about investing in our long-term happiness. Studies show that experiences, like family walks or holiday trips, bring us more lasting joy than material things. This is because experiences become part of who we are and strengthen our relationships.
For us, this meant our annual downtown adventure this past Friday.
A Night of Sensory Magic
We headed downtown to see the huge 40-foot Christmas tree. This is a tradition we love, and we always have dinner at Jimmy John’s—simple, dependable, and yummy. It’s a “Joy Tradition” for us—one we keep because it truly makes us happy, not because we have to.
As someone who is blind, I see these celebrations differently, but just as deeply. I enjoy the sounds of the season: the chatter of people, holiday music, and the sound of footsteps.
This year, technology really made my experience special! I wore my Meta glasses to help me “see” the world around me. In fact, I was the first to spot a booth selling mini cinnamon rolls! We didn’t get any because we were full from dinner (and they were almost gone—a sign they must be amazing), but it felt great to be the one pointing out the sights.
Connection Through Description
One of the things I love most about our walks is listening to how my family describes the world to me. It gives me a peek into what they value.
They pointed out the bright murals on the walls.
They described the fun statues with handmade scarves and hats.
They showed me booths where kind vendors let me touch their handmade things, so I could see how much effort went into them.
There was also a really nice moment of connection. A man stopped his little girl to explain why I was using a white cane. He did it so kindly and clearly. It was a real, “awesome” moment that reminded me of how good people can be during this time of year.
The Power of a Simple Walk
At the heart of this evening was something simple: walking.
Walking has been a constant in my life for years. When my husband and I were dating, we spent many evenings just walking and talking. It was a place without screens or distractions—just us. Keeping this tradition with our children helps us create memories that physical gifts just can’t replace.
How to Protect Your Energy This Week
If you’re feeling the holiday rush, I encourage you to take a moment. Use these tools to protect your energy and get through the next few weeks with purpose:
1. The Somatic “Body Check”
As a somatic coach, I suggest you take a moment to focus on your body when you’re making decisions. When you get an invitation or think about a tradition, notice how your body feels. Do your shoulders get tight, and your breath feels shallow (like you’re constricting)? Or does your chest open up, and you feel lighter (like you’re expanding)? Your body often knows what you need before your mind does. Trust that feeling!
2. Know the Difference Between Time and Energy
We often say “yes” just because we have time, but that doesn’t mean we have the energy to be there. Emotional and social energy is like a battery; it’s not always full. It’s okay to say you’re free on Saturday night but not have the energy to go out, and choose to rest instead.
3. Handle the “Guilt Gap”
When we choose to do less or break a family tradition, like not giving a gift, guilt can pop up. But don’t worry, that feeling doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It just means you’re breaking a habit. The guilt is a temporary feeling that comes with setting boundaries. Breathe through it; it’s not going to last forever.
4. Use Your Senses
When the holidays get too much with all the sights and sounds, take a moment to focus on what you can see, hear, smell, and touch. What sounds are you hearing? What smells are you catching? This mindfulness can help lower cortisol and keep you grounded, so you don’t get overwhelmed.
5. Enjoy JOMO (The Joy of Missing Out)
We often talk about FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but I want you to try JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). When you skip the busy craft fair or turn down another holiday party, you’re not just missing out. You’re gaining something else. You’re getting a quiet evening, a chance to connect with your partner, or a good night’s sleep. Think of saying “no” as saying “yes” to yourself.
As we wrap up the year, I hope you’ll find the strength to focus on building connections rather than chasing perfection, and to fill your days with traditions that truly bring you happiness.
Warmly,
Coach Kaila
About the Author
Kaila Allen, also known as Coach Kaila, is the founder of Creative Guidance and a dedicated somatic, mindfulness, and wellness coach. As a Reiki master and a passionate advocate for the blind and visually impaired community, she helps individuals navigate their personal growth with authenticity and intention.
Kaila is the host of the Creative Journey podcast, where she explores topics of resilience, mindset, and living a creative life. If you enjoyed the themes in this article, you are invited to join her complimentary Creative Journey Call workshop, held every Wednesday at 2 PM Eastern on Zoom. It is a safe space to connect, learn, and grow together.

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