Big Bob Cat Bash

Big Bob Cat Bash

Patty L. Fletcher and Bob Cat

April 9 2016

Hi everyone! Bob Cat here! I’ve come to tell you my tail. This tale is going to have a few mistakes in it. We want you to enjoy it, but we want you to be on the lookout for mistakes. We will give a pries to the one who can find them all. What is the pries? You’ll have to read to the end to learn that.

I’m gonna tell my mom what to write, and she’ll write for me. I don’t have posable thumbs, and have not gotten good at typing with my nose. Actually that makes me sneeze, so unlike Campbell who, like some humans we’ve heard of, isn’t very particular about where he puts his nose, I’m not gonna try that anymore.

Anyhow, here we go!

### It was an early Saturday morning when I first saw it. That dratted suit case! Oh! Hiss’s’s’s! I wish O how I wish I could shred that thing in to bits! I hate when Mommy goes away! I even miss that big hairy slobbering dog. Well, don’t miss his licking me in the face, but I do miss having someone to aggravate, and to help me when I need help aggravating others. I sat on the suit case meowing piteously but Mom just picked me up and held me saying, “No worries Bob Cat. Mommies got you all fixed up this time. You’ll have all the fud and water you can possibly eat and drink, and I have made your litter box all ready for you. Please? Don’t be sad. Mommy and Campbell won’t be gone long.” I tried purring for her. I tried rubbing round her feet any time I got the chance, but she just kept putting stuff in that blast it suit case!

When Mom and Aunt Birdie went to get something called a ticket, they left Campbell at home with me. As soon as they were gone I pounced him. “Wake up! Wake up!” I meowed urgently! Campbell moaned, stretched, and yawned. “What on the Earth do you want?” He rolled over and started to go back to sleep. “No! Wake up!” I hissed! “Something is wrong! They left you here. You never stay here!” He yawned again. “Nothing for me to do where they’re going. No need for me to work all the time ya know. I’m not as young as I used to be and it has been a rough week, and from the look of that suit case, and Mom’s going to get that ticket, it’s about to get worse.” I was real worried, and sat on top of Campbell to make sure to keep his attention. “What do you mean? Why worse?” Campbell rolled over, flipping me off in to the floor with a thud! “Hey! What’s the big idea?” I hissed! Standing up and shaking my fur out. “Well, don’t poke me with those darn daggers!” “Well, sorry! Anyhow, what do you mean worse?” “Well, I think we’ll be riding that darn bus. They call it a Gray Hound, but it doesn’t act like any dog I ever saw before, and it sure doesn’t smell like one! Oh! And the humans that are on that thing! WOOLF!  They stink and how!” He stretched out and sighed. “Then there’s the deal of there not being nearly enough room for me to lie at Mommy’s feet, and well, I hate it!” “Then why don’t you complain?” I couldn’t for the life of me understand why Campbell never seemed to complain no matter how much Mommy asked of him. “Well, the reason I don’t complain is this. First off Mom really wants to go, and secondly once we get there, that Bobby is real cool. He makes Mommy laugh a lot. I think if she could learn how, she’d purr like you do when she gives you turkey or ham.” “Wow! That’s real cool! Almost makes me wish I could go.” Campbell turned round and looked at me. “You would not like that trip. Not at all! Not even in the car would you like it! It is long! I do what I do because of Mommy and that I love her and it makes me happy to make her happy.” I sat washing my face and ears and thought about that for a minute. “You know? You are a pretty good dog. I mean, as dogs go and all.” Campbell started to stretch and roll again, and then he sat up. “You know? When Celine Kitty was alive, back in the day when she was a young cat, she used to throw some hellacious parties while Mom was gone. You ought to contact some of your kitty friends and have a bash!” I sat up straight and tall. “Really, you think so! You think anyone would come?” “Really? Seriously? Bob Cat! You’re real popular in the hood. Why, all the cats think it is just the coolest thing ever how you have come in and cleaned up the hood. You’ve knocked out all the riff raff cats, and really made it a nice place to be a cat again here.” I felt right proud of that! “Wow! Really?” I asked, starting to fluff my fur out a bit, as I began to purr.” “Yeah, really. You should do it! I’ll help you send out the invites. Come on! The portal is over in the corner by my crate. Haven’t you ever used it?” “No! I was always afraid to.” “Oh! There’s nothing to it! I’ll show you the correct one for cats. You don’t wanta take the Pawsway. That is the one for dogs, and I have it so it goes straight to The Seeing Eye. I like to go aggravate Trainer Drew when he’s there sleeping at night.” Campbell laughed that deep booming laugh of his as he walked slowly over to his crate. He sat down and raised his nose in to the air. Sniffed a bit, and said, “I summon stir and do draw forth, East, South, West, and North! Open the portal and let us in, show Bob Cat where all the fun for cats begins!” Just like that a gateway opened, and beyond it lay beautifully lit trails, with great signs showing where to go to get to all my cat friend’s homes. “Wow!” I purred! “Wow!”

Campbell stood for a minute sniffing the air. “You don’t ever want to just walk in. Always check the air. Listen real close with your ears. There are some things in the portal that are not nice. No matter how pretty something looks there are at times ugly things lurking round the corners. You know, in the shadows and such. Just be careful!”

He closed the portal by simply saying, “I summon stir, and do draw forth, East South, West and North! Close up the portal again, but next time it opens, let it show Bob Cat this again!”

I stood up and walked over to Campbell as the gateway began to close. “Wow! Dud! That’s huge! Thanks for showing me this. Now, how do we send out invites?”

Campbell wagged his tale. That’s easy! I will sound the Twilight Bark, and you send out the Call of Purrs!” “Oh! Wow! I forgot all about the Call of Purrs! Celine Kitty tought that to me, but I haven’t used it since she passed. I didn’t even think about using it for happy stuff!”

Campbell walked over to stand under the open window in the dining room and began to bark. Faster and faster he barked, till soon all the dogs on the whole street and beyond were barking. Repeating his message far and wide. I noted that he was adding something to the invite other than time and place, which he had picked to be midnight here on Campbell’s Corner in the Land of Bob Cat! I listened as he said, “Calling all dogs, during this party we will have a need for security as I will not be on the place. Dog Jax is young yet and cannot possibly handle all the details on his own. Please reply!”

I was amazed and said so. “You mean you’d have your dogs do this for me?” “Oh! Silly Bob Cat! I don’t want anything to happen to you! I like having a cat around, and believe it or not I still miss Celine.”

Well, I got to say that made me feel good, and I began to send out the Call of Purrs, and soon I had quite a guest list.

There were the cats Meepers, and the Lady, Celine Kitty the Spirit Cat, the Stevens Cats Simon and Sara, and even some from the hood. I was amazed when cats started purring back to ask what they could bring. Some were bringing mouse head crunch ice cream. Some were bringing southern fried bugs, and some were bringing mice from their own pray collections. I was just blown away from it all, and suddenly could not wait for Mom to be gone!

To be continued


This is the first half of our tale. Please look closely in the messages before and after, as well as within the story. We left yall some good mistakes to find.

We have decided to cut the story in half. This way we can have two winners. The one who finds all the mistakes in this half will win three free months of advertising in The Neighborhood News, and a discounted price for a year’s ad after for only $10.

We will announce the winner on Monday. So Sunday night midnight Eastern is the deadline.

Have a great day! PURRS!

Human Patty here, forgot to say to email me at: with your answers.



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